in the world of chickens

Note: clicking the pictures can significantly increase the size ..
Caution: Since my funny bone is hurting, you may suffer some stomach pain...

A lots of demands, several promises and a few threats later, I have finally decided to unveil the story of the infamous chicken catastrophe

Since the last episode, (kinu cooks) another brother was burning in the fire of jealousy over the unprecedented fame kinu gained as a result of this master piece blog. This brother was so jealous that he had almost become a chicken tikka himself when he suddenly thought of a genius idea, ……….evil genius infact! He decided to cook!! Just like kinu, (obviously at my place again...) coincidently this brother’s name also starts with the letter K …. Yes … you are right …this time it was Br Kazi …..


The Closest likeliness of Br Kazi …

And yet kazi found another brother, who was just as mad for not being invited last time



Yes … Br Gabber Junior … see the smile on his face and the knife in his hand? That’s called “Bagal mein churi munh mein ram ram”** …what evil …

So these brothers conspired to cook together .. Br kazi (Bengali) … went to a (Bengali) store and brought some chicken (yes chicken, not fish!!)


The lovely couple starting cooking together (MashaAllah sooo romantic astagferullah)

By the time food was ready, wallah-e nothing smelled fishy

every one ate … and the food was good,……… till here every thing was fine EXCEPT …. The fact that kinu finished most of the food, it is yet unknown why he ate so much, one theory suggests that he did not want to let people eat the good food and compare with his dead shrimps, the other group alleges that kinu was brought to the kitchen and threatened by the jealous brothers to eat the most …. This group presents the following picture as a proof …..



How ever what ever the truth may be. The truth is that while the brothers were having fun … …

kinu pulled out his pack of cheap disposable walmart cameras,


to take pictures like this ……. Astagferullah!!! ….All of you know this program rite?

this was an outrage, hence br bilu confiscated the technologically ashamed device,





which somewhat triggered the so far sleeping effects of the mountain of infected chicken kinu ate.


Poor Br Bilu…

But this was nothing… the worst effects of the bird flu unveiled when all of a sudden kinu started acting real weird ….



Not only kinu but the bird flu effected the brother with the most obviously weakest immune system …



Hazrat Janab honorable ex health minister of Hunger republic of Somalia br Willi rehmatAllah eleh …


And then .. the audience enjoyed the infamous south asian cock fight!!



Sorry … wrong picture …


Comparable?



finally both fell .... but kinu did not give up!!

One by one, kinu assaulted every one …..








While Br willi was coaching people how to be the best fighter cock..

And last but not least to be assaulted was the chief conspirator of this whole bird flu catastrophe





Astagferullah …. No comments … (see this weird smile on kazi’s face ..???) astagferullah …


Oh and hang on ….. the only one not assaulted was our own “chicken imitator” …. I mean .. br BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD boy … who was busy imitating chickens all this time …. (Observe at the back .....)



After a lot of struggle Br Bilu was finally able to catch all the infected chickens and put them in the cage …..


Even though …….you can still see the effects of the infected chicken on some faces……


That’s how this episode ended ….. but hey … the story does not end here … keep visiting to see what happened next!!!




**(if you don’t know urdu, well ………….too bad)

……….. “Kinu cooks” !!!

While I am still under fire for leaking out how “A Typical MSA Meeting” is conducted
… here is another one … … today I will tell you a "insider" pictorial story of … what happened at my place coupla weeks ago when a few brothers cooked some weird conspiracy.
(please click on the images to view larger size)
------------


So lets begin with
……….. “Kinu cooks” !!!

Coupla weeks ago Br kinu decided to invite every one for dinner at my place .. (yes .. that’s rite!.... he invited people to my place)

Now once every one arrives..... kinu starts cooking …



















…. shrimps with head lettuce (yes he cooked lettuce)




















Thinking he’s a big shot …





















Br Bad Boy and Br Gabber .. all happy…… thinking about ……... Food .. (I know... i know typical .. male mentality eh??)





















An hour passes .. kinu is still in the kitchen …




now we smell some thing nasty .... ..... COMING from the KITCHEN!!



















Kinu refuses to accept that the nasty smell is coming from his food.....





















after negotiations by Br Bilu and Br Willi, Kinu agreed to smell his own ............. food





















notice his red ears ??? yes thats embarrassment !!!





















Noticing the food crises Br Bilu encourages Br Gabber and Br Bad Boy to launch a disaster recovery mission





















Br Gabber gets on the internet to find some quick fix recipes as the disaster recovery mission





















Quite a typical MSA thing: “we can't come to an agreement”





















Br Kinu comes out of the Kitchen & Br Bad Boy takes over the recipe finding "disaster recovery mission" (observe the faces arround!!)






















Br Kinu takes over the scene and makes Br Bad Boy eat the food at Gun Point.

(Br Bad Boy insists to sit on the ground and eat the muslim way since no body heard him in the Grad Dinner Meeting )… (please see “A Typical MSA meeting” blog below)





















Br Gabber after eating Kinu's foods





















Kinu's food left Br Kazi unconscious!!!





















Br Bilu trying to call ambulance





















Before the ambulance arrives, Br Kazi wakes up and launches an assult at Kinu with the help of Br Bilu...

upon which Kinu makes a confession of food conspiracy along with his partner in crime























Yes ..... believe it or not .. that was the face behind the food conspiracy ….Br Khair InshaAllah!!! Kinu was just a servant to the Big Don






















As a punishment .. Br Bilu makes Kinu taste a little bit of his own shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………….rimps (yes shrimps)






















the drama ends with a toss of banana shake ... look who’s most happy after having the banana shake
( observe the empty jug behind; to learn the effects this banana shake made on Br Willi .. please read "A Typical MSA Meeting below")
-----

A Typical MSA Meeting @ Ryerson University

Originally i wrote this only for close friends .. and MSA board members... but here you go ..
-----------

A typical MSA meeting:

Disclaimer: All characters in this article are fictionist; any resemblance is coincidental (no-kidding)

Reading Instructions: Laughing is strictly prohibited; violators will be shot, survivors will be shot again!

Scenario: MSA Board Meeting for Grad Dinner

Characters:

President: Br Willi

V.P Br's: Br Gabber.

V.P Sister's: Sr Sue.

Finance Coordinator: Br Kinu

Communications: Br Bilu.

General Secretary: Br Half Absent.

Br Events: Br Always Absent

Sr Events: Sr K.D

Br Dawah: Br Khair inshaAllah.

Sr. Dawaj: Sr A.J.

Takbir: Sr Twinks.

Random Sisters: Sr. Ng, Sr. Sam

Random Brothers: Br B.B. (aka Br Bad Boy), Br BBC MSA (always up for events), Br Kazi, Br Gabber Junior, Br Benglori (*Proudly Mc Master Drop out*)

RSU = Ryerson Student’s Union

MSA =Muslim Student's Association

(Br Willi enters the room 45 minutes past the meeting start time, every one is waiting)

Br Willi: bismAllahAlRahmanAlRahim …………sorry people I am late (as usual)……. Does some one have a reminder?

(every one silently looks down) ….

Br Willi: inaLillah ….. .. I will say some thing short… let us remember …… (goes on at random stuff for five minutes heading no where)

(five minutes later……..)

Br. Bilu (*thinks*: ya Allah!!! ….. I could have finished this thing in 2 minutes…… when is the meeting finally going to start??)

(10 minutes pass … Br Willi is FINALLY done)

Br Willi: alright, so what we have on the agenda today, is the purchase of table cloths for the Grad Dinner,……… Br Kinu can you tell us the budget for this purchase?

Br Kinu: well from what I can perceive, the budget can allow dispensing the maximum of $2 (two dollars) for the purposed purchase, and that is pushing the limits! (in his famous "too much" style)

Sr. K.D: wha?

Sr. Sue: (*thinks*: MashaAllah this brother is so stingy. I am proud of him.)

Sr Sam: no actually what Br Kinu meant was not $2 but $200, and I will take care of taking this money out of Br Kinu. Trust me people, wallahe Br Kinu will give this money. wallahe trust me people

Br Kinu: ( looks around speechless and helpless)

Br Bilu: Hang on people, we have soooooooo many table cloths already, why don't we just use those?

Br Willi: (*ignoring Br Bilu*) AlhamdoLillah and if we cant find the money for this "project", we will do a shwarma sale in the grad dinner to make this money (thinks he's so smart)

Br Bilu: shwarma sale in a DINNER ??? No Br Willi, wuts wrong??

Br BB: (*thinks*: I think Br Willi had a little too much of banana shake last night )

(partying at Br Bilu’s place)

Br Gabber: (enters the room late): sorry people I had a meeting with the top 10 at RSU ….. alright so what are we talking about ………. Aha I see today we have Grad dinner on the agenda right?

Br. Willi, no Br Gabber we have purchase of table cloths for Grad dinner on agenda. Another committee under supervision of Sr Ng is taking care of the dinner.

(Sr Ng * blinks her eyes with combination of pride and modesty* )

Br. Gabber: (pride in voice) mashaAllah great, I am sure RSU will have no problem with our purchase of table cloths.

(exits the room saying "I have to make a phone call, I will be back shortly")

Br Kazi: did any one hear Br Bilu? We already have so many table cloths from previous events.

Sr. K.D: Those table cloths don't match the color of our theme. We cant have them.

Br Khair inshaAllah: khair inshaAllah, I think we should include CDA in this important decision, they have been doing great. They converted one sister to islam yesterday, at wonderland.

Br. B.B: People I would like to play the role of the bad boy here, where is this meeting going any ways? What is the point of table cloths? Why don't we sit on the floor and eat the muslim way?

Sr A.J: (in her famous humble tone): I think Br B. Boy has a very good point, this is a very good way of dawah, CDA will be very happy with this decision.

(Br. Gabber enters the room again while Sr A.J is talking)

Br Gabber: very good point, I think RSU will have no problem with this decision.

(exits the room again "I have to make a quick phone …… ")

Sr K.D: this does not fit with the theme of our program, we have to have a specific color of the table cloths:

Br Kinu: May I request your highness to enlighten the congregation of the RMSA board with the intended color of the .. the … the table cloths?

Sr K.D: I was thinking of pink (*her eyes glow thinking of the matching color of her pink frock*)

Sr. A.J: (*thinks*: oh crap, I was wearing green)

Sr. Sam: (*thinks*: wallahe No way, I was wearing BLACK)

Sr Twinks: (*thinks*: subhanAllah mashaAllah ……..Astagferullah whats wrong with this sister*………. AlhamdoLillah inshaAllah)

Sr. Sue: (*whispers*): Sr K.D we have brothers in the room.

Sr. Ng: dyem fyne idea Sr KD yo, later on we'd make da brotha's wear dem pink table cloths and make dem look like punks. That'd be sooooooooo hype yo.

Br. Bilu: (*about to faint*)

Br Willi: I would like to believe we should make a criteria and …….

Br Gabber Junior: AlhamdoLillah MashaAllah if the sisters like it I think we should go ahead with it.

Br Benglori: (*Proudly*) when I was at Mc Master we used pink ……..

Br Kazi: (*cuts off Br Benglori*) and I think pink color will be very good for dawah to non muslims, specially while I have invited Sister Rozi and Sister Noori from the RSU I think they will be pleased with this color (*his eyes glow for unknown reasons*)

Br Benglori: and I think benglroi fish curry would look really good on pink table cloths

(*proudly looks around after making this point thinking he’s so smart*)

Br Bilu: Fish? Ah that’s where the smell was coming from … You have some of it in your back pack,…… don’t you ? (Cover’s his nose)

(EVERY BODY in the room covers their noses)

Br Benglori: (in very low voice): yes a few pieces, but that’s because I love fish.

(Gets thrown out of the room)

Sr K.D: so I was saying that pink ………

(Br Gabber enters the room again)

Br Gabber: I think RSU will have no problem with this (exits the room again with his phone in hand)

Br. Bilu & Br Kinu: *faint*

Br Willi: I strongly believe that we should make a criteria.

Gives criteria

• 1- It should be at least 2'X 2'
• 2- It should be stored in the MSA office
• 3- It should be approved by the board.
• 4- It should be approved by myself.
• 5- If any of the above is not achievable, sisters should purchase what ever they like.

(2 hours pass.)

Br Bilu is half ready to resign (seriously)

Br Kinu has already thrown his resignation on the table for 23^rd time. (every time some one is about to approve it, kinu takes it back.)

Br: Willi: khalaas inshaAllah we will buy purple color for table cloths, it fits MY criteria (which has been changed for the 9^th time from "public" input. *public = Sisters Only*). If sisters still don't like it then we can decide about it in the next meeting inshaAllah,

Br BBC MSA: I will volunteer for purchase of the table cloths:

Sr Ng: (*thinks:* subhanAllah, dis dawg is amazing yo, didn't say a wod in da whole dymn meetin and is first to volunteer, I gotta add him in my dymn volunteer crew yo. )

Sr Sam: people trust me, wallahe black color is the best for this purpose.

Br Willi: alright people we will decide on the color of the table cloths for the grad dinner in the next meeting (*which is scheduled to be after the Grad dinner*)… meeting adjourned ….

Br Willi: people Hang on for dua (another 10 minutes!!)

------------

P.S: this was intended to be a very serious article, …..if you find it otherwise, there is something wrong with your sense of “seriousity”